This had to be the best Mother Day I’ve had in many, many, years. I know, it’s far passed now and, sorry. I’ve been busy. What.. you think I have Nothing to do besides blog? I tend to agree, nothing as fun or as distracting or as relaxing(most of the time) however, truly, I have other things to do that take me away from my keyboard. Other fun things even… like visiting family and taking the girls out on long walks.
We had a blast on Mother’s day. We went to the in-laws and had an awesome dinner. The girls ran around and got all their energy out. It was a lovely day with wonderful weather for being outside. My in-laws are learning to deal with my neurotic behavior better too. It is hopeful to see them accept me for who I am. They may judge me; they may actually hate me, but they have finally learned to treat me with respect and dignity. If only the rest of the world were as mature, including me, I think.
A few posts ago I mentioned that I missed going hiking. I mentioned that I wanted to get back into it. Well, I have been on two hikes now. I am limited on how frequently I can go to the mountains (my favorite hiking place) but I have some really incredible trails that follow along a city canal. The girls and I like to go out right after dinner when the sun is still up but just starting to hang lower in the sky; it’s not too hot or too bright out. In our last adventure the girls were still a little reserved because they really haven’t been exposed to much “nature” or hiking for that matter. I look forward to being able to take them to the mountains and let them experience real hiking. I wasn’t too sure they would like it at first but they are such curious children, the idea appeals to them for right now.
Mother’s Day , on the surface, is, to most, about their mother, whomever that might be for them. In my usual egocentric fashion I internalize it and inspect my motherhood. This day for me has traditionally been about analyzing the kind of mother I am and the kind I want to be. I reflect on the mothers who have mothered me and I accept from their examples what I think I need to strengthen my own abilities and actions. Not that I plan it all that way, don’t think I think myself to be that organized, but I go through it nonetheless, every year. Some years I have thought of myself and seen progress and good hard work achieved; other years I wept in defeat. Such are the emotions of any mother’s heart, I think. Afterall, no mother got a handbook, as the saying goes.
My thoughts this year include but are not limited to the following..
I would, could, should, never have been anything other than a mother in one way or another.
I have understood the depth of love because I am a mother and no other way do I think I could have fully understood it except by such ways as to be a mother.
Motherhood is not a job, it is a commitment of the heart for which there is no equivalent exchange in value.
I will be a mother for the rest of my life, no other person is mother to the children I have birthed. Others may mother my children but I am the only mother they have. This can be both a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you are and how you look at it…in other words, it’s all relative now isn’t it?
A small glimpse in the big bowl of thought soup for now…maybe more later I have some pictures to take first.
This post is dedicated to the woman who is my mother.